Phronemophobia 2025-03-21 02:25:48

"it's happening again. i have a feeling that this will be a pattern... continue feeling guilty for existing."

There's really nothing that will just make your brain stop feeling guilty, because if it's anything like mine, there will always be some other stupid thing to needlessly worry about. Right now, my temporary fixes are "brain off" gaming with a roguelike or simple RPG and listening to some 10-hour relaxation video on YouTube. A friend on this site has recommended meditation, as well, and he uses it to ease his own mind. Seems to work well for him.. If none of that seems helpful, then try to imagine one of your OCs slowly waddling up to a negative thought growing in the back of your mind, pulling out a comically large "NO!" stick, and repeatedly bonking it until the thought disappears. For added fun, you could imagine confetti and fart sounds happening each time the bonk occurs. Afterwards, your mental OC will indulge in a moment of victorious pride and then go back home to relax and eat snacks until the next terrible idea shows up. Side note: Feeling guilty for merely existing is dumb. I refuse it. That's law now. *points at very official legal document* See this? It states are you are no longer allowed to regret being alive for, like, *squints to check the fine print* twenty years at least. Check back in twenty years to find out whether or not you are allowed to feel guilty for existing again.

"would i rather never show my art to other people (except my family, who could care less) again"

Nuts to other people! Upload it to show yourself in the future. It'll become comparative evidence of your progress as you continue to improve your artistic skill. Oh, and show it to me, as well. I am curious about the lives of Rust and Toggle, so I definitely want to see more art of them. That's at least two people to share your art.

Personal insecurities are an ongoing part of life for all of us. Right now, it seems the age thing is the big one for you, but if you were doing anything wrong, your account would have been terminated, right? A moderator would have kicked you out. Since that has not happened, it means you have nothing to feel guilty about. You were grandfathered in meaning the future version of you will be able to brag about having had an account before the site added stricter age restrictions. Plus, look at your current reviews. So far, you've only receive positive feedback for sharing your opinion. Clearly, you being here has been beneficial for a handful of other artists already. What if some of them had similar moments of doubt and it was your words that helped them to continue showing their art to other people? Be the supportive figure you wish from others.

Ultimately, whether you leave or not is up to you, but, for what little it's worth, know there will be at least one person here always hoping you are doing well and still enjoying art in your free time.

Phronemophobia 2025-03-21 22:13:31

I had a similar mindset as a teenager, but it wasn't because of age. I found out that my mother was a "black sheep" of the family which explained why I always felt unwanted at gatherings. Apparently, the only reason we were ever invited was because of my grandmother since everyone else wanted nothing to do with us. It wasn't my fault that they disliked my mom, but I still had that constant desire to stay home during the holidays because I used to believe that I had done something wrong. Still, because of that, I continue to have moments where I want to separate myself from everyone around me just to avoid that feeling of believing I'm unwanted. You simply learn to deal with it as best you can until you can find someone you trust to help calm down and sort through your worries. If that's not an option, turn your thoughts into art and sell it for millions of dollars (hopefully).